If it be your will...

Today Baby W's birth father travels to Addis Ababa from his home in Gambela. He is scheduled to attend court on Monday and give up rights to his son.

I really know nothing about Baby W's birth father other than his name, where he is from, and the fact his beautiful boy with a brilliant mega-wat smile may soon be our son.  I can't begin to describe what it feels like to have such a connection to a person you've never met.

I know what Baby W's name means, I know the beautiful jewelry he wears, and I know without a doubt how much he is loved by his birth family.  I know if he is relinquished, it is an act of selfless love  beyond what my heart can understand.

I doubt Baby W's father has ever been on an airplane, or stayed in a hotel, or even been to a large city. I imagine him traveling alone, completely overwhelmed, walking the streets of Addis Ababa with the burden of the world on his shoulders.

I don't really have words to describe my thoughts, they are beyond complicated. My heart is in my throat and my prayer is not what I would have expected when we began this process over two years ago.

If it be your will. If it be your will. If it be your will...

I simply cannot pray for Baby W's father to give him up, but I will pray for his father's safety and comfort, and for his heart to find peace with whatever decision he makes. I pray if he does choose to relinquish Baby W that he can sense our presence in Baby W's life and the great love we have for both of them.

this is what will be playing on repeat this weekend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MDlMdu2gjw

*right before publishing this post, we learned Baby W's birth father missed his flight. There is another flight out on Sunday.  Baby W's court appointment is Monday morning in Addis Ababa which will be sometime in the middle of the night for us.  Before you go to sleep on Sunday night, or if you're awake in the wee hours Monday morning, perhaps you can join us in sending Baby W's birth father peace, love and light.

If it be your will...