A Sleepy Mama/Happy New Year!

I write this as a way to keep myself awake this New Year's Eve...our party begins at 9, and I'm wondering if this Mama is gonna keep herself awake.

So here's a little review and reflection of our life altering 2010:

Fredrik's first words this morning: "Kysa, today is the last day of the first year you were born." If Kysa hadn't smiled her goofy two-toothed smile, I would have cried. I've never been this nostalgic on a New Year's Eve and I attribute it to the state of being a parent that I call "constantly smiling with tears in your eyes."

In early 2010, I felt time stretch on forever, as my belly seemed to do as well. I felt the raw, powerful surge of divine feminine energy with the natural birth of Kysa. I still marvel at the body's miraculous ability to grow a beautiful little being, and at just the perfect time nudge that little person out into the world. After the most physically and emotionally powerful experience of my life, I then felt my heart split wide open to love in ways I never knew possible, and with that love came the snap of time that makes my head swim. Perhaps it was the splitting open of my heart, of all our hearts, that led us down this adoption road so quickly after Kysa's birth. I understand a little bit more about the heart's capacity to love and I trust that our hearts will continue to open wide to a new family member, our little Mamoosh. I just can't wait to see his face...

2010 and Kysa have taught me deeper and simpler ways to be present. Just feeling her breathe as she sleeps on my chest is the greatest of gifts. Midway through 2010 Fredrik and I made a commitment to ourselves, our planet and our fellow beings to go vegan (no meat or dairy). We haven't been perfect (I still haven't eaten meat:) but we do our best, and have enjoyed our new relationship to food, to each other, and to our planet. We look forward to continuing our vegan diet into 2011...YUM YUM!!

In the meantime, while we enjoy our sweet Kysa and eagerly await our Mamoosh, my New Year's resolutions are:
To be present with the bliss, to soak it up, and not take a day for granted.
To be grateful
To walk softly on Mother Earth.
To love BIG and give BIG
To Swiffer more often and put the laundry away in a timely manner,
...and to do forearm stand without a wall:)

Happy New Year All!
May 2011 be a year of boundless possibilities and joy.
/Allison

Cookin' With Gas

"Cookin' with gas" is a phrase one of my favorite and most influential dance teachers, Alyson Colwell Waber, used when things really got moving in the dance studio. It best describes the swirling kinetic energy when sweat is flowing freely, when everyone is in "the zone" and when progress is clearly being made.

Well, I think it's safe to say: we're cookin' with gas. We've completed our homestudy, we dragged our baby girl to a correctional institute so we both could get fingerprinted, we've signed our names at least a thousand times and had the signatures notarized. We've answered tough questions and tedious questions. We've had to remember and document ALL the places we've both lived and prove we're not criminals, sex offenders, or parents to other children. We've had bloodwork and physicals, we've recorded our finances, and we've taken pictures of our home. We've organized and made stacks, and stacks, and stacks of papers....and then copied all of them....and then mailed the originals.

We're far from the end, and have several weeks waiting on the FBI and other government agencies, but this feels good. Really good. We're seeing the light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.

Special thanks to my parents who gave us a WHOLE UNINTERRUPTED DAY to work together. The perfect Christmas gift. Thank you.

And, just because...here's a picture of our Christmas Angel.

Another 5,499,999

"Who was going to raise 5.5 million children?

Who was teaching 5.5 million children how to swim? Who was signing 5.5 million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed 5.5 million school lunches? Who cheered at 5.5 million soccer games? Who was going to buy 5.5 million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? 5.5 million pairs of socks? Who will tell 5.5 million bedtime stories? Who will quiz 5.5 million children on Thursday nights for their Friday morning spelling tests? 5.5 million trips to the dentist? 5.5 million birthday parties? Who will wake in the middle of the night in response to 5.5 million nightmares?

Who will offer grief counseling to 5.5 million children? Who will help them avoid lives of servitude or prostitution? Who will pass on to them the traditions of culture and religion, of history and government, or craft and profession? Who will help them grow up, chose the right person to marry, find work, and learn to parent their own children?"
Source: "There is no me without you", Melissa Fay Greene (the book references sub-sahara number of 'twelve' million replaced here by '5.5' to represent Ethiopia specifically)

Who will believe in these 5.5 million kids? I was absolutely struck reading this tonight.

And, that number (5.5 million) represents only an estimate of orphans in Ethiopia. Try searching for sub-Saharan, African or global statistics and I promise you that you can hardly fathom the numbers. How can we even make sense about the difference between 5, 10, 25, 50, 100 million?

I'll be the first to tell you, I can't. It's even hard in some ways to feel proud that we are in process to adopt only 1. One of 5.5 million. Even harder when you acknowledge that the *best* solution for these kids is really to be with their parents, their extended families, in their country... if only that were a viable option.

But, I do feel proud. Honored, even. I'll be a Father to our young boy at the end of this process. One boy. Our boy. I know that at least our little Mamoosh and Kysa will always have me to read them that bedtime story.

/ fredrik

We found our Ethiopian wise man in Spain...

It's been a while since we've posted. We've been busy, busy. We took Kysa on her first international trip to Milan and Madrid. She was amazingly happy ALL the time, especially on the plane, much more than her parents were. She also didn't seem bothered by the time change or jet lag. I guess this is one of the benefits of not having her on a specific schedule, she just went with the flow and slept when we slept.

It feels good to have an international trip under our belts with an infant, although I know how to distract and comfort Kysa. I'm sure it could be a different story with Mamoosh (Amharic word for baby), but nevertheless the experience gives me a bit of confidence.

One of the things I wanted to get in Spain was a nativity scene. I know in Spain the three wise men are cherished and celebrated AND they observe that one of the kings was from Ethiopia; King Balthazar who bore frankincense. I found an adorable nativity scene at the Mercado San Miguel. So I'm super happy to report that we now have an Ethiopian presence in our house. He's tiny, kingly and cute, and yes, he's black....and he has a place of honor on our table.

Fredrik has since informed me that the 3 wise men were actually 12 Chinese men...but I'm not sure where he gets his facts.

We had the last of our blood work done today and the social worker comes tomorrow morning for part 1 of our homestudy. I probably should be on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower or organizing my sock drawer...

But since I am procrastinating, it is with great joy I present to you,
King Balthazar of Ethiopia via Spain
(I kinda have a crush on him):