A Sleepy Mama/Happy New Year!

I write this as a way to keep myself awake this New Year's Eve...our party begins at 9, and I'm wondering if this Mama is gonna keep herself awake.

So here's a little review and reflection of our life altering 2010:

Fredrik's first words this morning: "Kysa, today is the last day of the first year you were born." If Kysa hadn't smiled her goofy two-toothed smile, I would have cried. I've never been this nostalgic on a New Year's Eve and I attribute it to the state of being a parent that I call "constantly smiling with tears in your eyes."

In early 2010, I felt time stretch on forever, as my belly seemed to do as well. I felt the raw, powerful surge of divine feminine energy with the natural birth of Kysa. I still marvel at the body's miraculous ability to grow a beautiful little being, and at just the perfect time nudge that little person out into the world. After the most physically and emotionally powerful experience of my life, I then felt my heart split wide open to love in ways I never knew possible, and with that love came the snap of time that makes my head swim. Perhaps it was the splitting open of my heart, of all our hearts, that led us down this adoption road so quickly after Kysa's birth. I understand a little bit more about the heart's capacity to love and I trust that our hearts will continue to open wide to a new family member, our little Mamoosh. I just can't wait to see his face...

2010 and Kysa have taught me deeper and simpler ways to be present. Just feeling her breathe as she sleeps on my chest is the greatest of gifts. Midway through 2010 Fredrik and I made a commitment to ourselves, our planet and our fellow beings to go vegan (no meat or dairy). We haven't been perfect (I still haven't eaten meat:) but we do our best, and have enjoyed our new relationship to food, to each other, and to our planet. We look forward to continuing our vegan diet into 2011...YUM YUM!!

In the meantime, while we enjoy our sweet Kysa and eagerly await our Mamoosh, my New Year's resolutions are:
To be present with the bliss, to soak it up, and not take a day for granted.
To be grateful
To walk softly on Mother Earth.
To love BIG and give BIG
To Swiffer more often and put the laundry away in a timely manner,
...and to do forearm stand without a wall:)

Happy New Year All!
May 2011 be a year of boundless possibilities and joy.
/Allison

Cookin' With Gas

"Cookin' with gas" is a phrase one of my favorite and most influential dance teachers, Alyson Colwell Waber, used when things really got moving in the dance studio. It best describes the swirling kinetic energy when sweat is flowing freely, when everyone is in "the zone" and when progress is clearly being made.

Well, I think it's safe to say: we're cookin' with gas. We've completed our homestudy, we dragged our baby girl to a correctional institute so we both could get fingerprinted, we've signed our names at least a thousand times and had the signatures notarized. We've answered tough questions and tedious questions. We've had to remember and document ALL the places we've both lived and prove we're not criminals, sex offenders, or parents to other children. We've had bloodwork and physicals, we've recorded our finances, and we've taken pictures of our home. We've organized and made stacks, and stacks, and stacks of papers....and then copied all of them....and then mailed the originals.

We're far from the end, and have several weeks waiting on the FBI and other government agencies, but this feels good. Really good. We're seeing the light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.

Special thanks to my parents who gave us a WHOLE UNINTERRUPTED DAY to work together. The perfect Christmas gift. Thank you.

And, just because...here's a picture of our Christmas Angel.

Another 5,499,999

"Who was going to raise 5.5 million children?

Who was teaching 5.5 million children how to swim? Who was signing 5.5 million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed 5.5 million school lunches? Who cheered at 5.5 million soccer games? Who was going to buy 5.5 million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? 5.5 million pairs of socks? Who will tell 5.5 million bedtime stories? Who will quiz 5.5 million children on Thursday nights for their Friday morning spelling tests? 5.5 million trips to the dentist? 5.5 million birthday parties? Who will wake in the middle of the night in response to 5.5 million nightmares?

Who will offer grief counseling to 5.5 million children? Who will help them avoid lives of servitude or prostitution? Who will pass on to them the traditions of culture and religion, of history and government, or craft and profession? Who will help them grow up, chose the right person to marry, find work, and learn to parent their own children?"
Source: "There is no me without you", Melissa Fay Greene (the book references sub-sahara number of 'twelve' million replaced here by '5.5' to represent Ethiopia specifically)

Who will believe in these 5.5 million kids? I was absolutely struck reading this tonight.

And, that number (5.5 million) represents only an estimate of orphans in Ethiopia. Try searching for sub-Saharan, African or global statistics and I promise you that you can hardly fathom the numbers. How can we even make sense about the difference between 5, 10, 25, 50, 100 million?

I'll be the first to tell you, I can't. It's even hard in some ways to feel proud that we are in process to adopt only 1. One of 5.5 million. Even harder when you acknowledge that the *best* solution for these kids is really to be with their parents, their extended families, in their country... if only that were a viable option.

But, I do feel proud. Honored, even. I'll be a Father to our young boy at the end of this process. One boy. Our boy. I know that at least our little Mamoosh and Kysa will always have me to read them that bedtime story.

/ fredrik

We found our Ethiopian wise man in Spain...

It's been a while since we've posted. We've been busy, busy. We took Kysa on her first international trip to Milan and Madrid. She was amazingly happy ALL the time, especially on the plane, much more than her parents were. She also didn't seem bothered by the time change or jet lag. I guess this is one of the benefits of not having her on a specific schedule, she just went with the flow and slept when we slept.

It feels good to have an international trip under our belts with an infant, although I know how to distract and comfort Kysa. I'm sure it could be a different story with Mamoosh (Amharic word for baby), but nevertheless the experience gives me a bit of confidence.

One of the things I wanted to get in Spain was a nativity scene. I know in Spain the three wise men are cherished and celebrated AND they observe that one of the kings was from Ethiopia; King Balthazar who bore frankincense. I found an adorable nativity scene at the Mercado San Miguel. So I'm super happy to report that we now have an Ethiopian presence in our house. He's tiny, kingly and cute, and yes, he's black....and he has a place of honor on our table.

Fredrik has since informed me that the 3 wise men were actually 12 Chinese men...but I'm not sure where he gets his facts.

We had the last of our blood work done today and the social worker comes tomorrow morning for part 1 of our homestudy. I probably should be on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower or organizing my sock drawer...

But since I am procrastinating, it is with great joy I present to you,
King Balthazar of Ethiopia via Spain
(I kinda have a crush on him):

Smitten

This weekend we met Eli. He is 3 and charming. He likes to put objects on his head that make him look like a spaceman. He plays a mean game of Candyland, and a very strategic and giggly game of Hot Potato. He's articulate, happy, and affectionate. He speaks multiple languages and can do cartwheels, and he seemed to have boundless energy. He's sweet, curious and loving. We watched as Kysa took a nap, and Eli went over to check her out and gently pat her on the head. He also knows exactly where he came from: "Ethiopia which is in Africa."

My dear friends, Maggie and Michael (who adopted their daughter, Niya, from China in 2004), hosted a cozy get together on Sunday to allow Fredrik, Kysa and I to meet Eli and his truly lovely parents, Lisa and Maurice. We picked their brains and hung on every word of their story to adopt Eli. They showed us pictures and shared memories, insights and opinions. My good friend, David, was there as well, who also adopted his daughter from China in 2004. Fredrik and I felt that we'd stepped into, and were warmly embraced by a new community...the international adoption community. I felt like I was in a room with kindred spirits, and I feel even more confirmed that we are on the right path.

And did I mention Lisa (Eli's mom) is Swedish? Like born in Sweden Swedish. She and Eli almost sang us a Swedish children's song but Eli had a little performance anxiety. Maybe next time...But how COOL is that?

I think Sunday will serve as a milestone for us. Seeing Eli and his family, we can now picture a little more clearly what our family will look like someday. We were smitten with Eli, and now we're even more excited about our growing family...if that's even possible.

Thanks again, Maggie, Michael and Niya!!

Velma and the Victory Garden

Three years ago today Fredrik and I were surrounded by friends and family from all over the world who came to celebrate our nuptials. It was the most FUN day of my life. Yay us! I can't believe 3 years have gone by in a flash. I can't believe all that's changed in 3 years. It's hard to believe we now have a baby, a dog, a car, a house, and live in a neighborhood where our neighbors hang out because we're friends, we borrow each others ladders and plungers, drop off sweet potatoes recovered from our garden plots, take walks with our babies in strollers, and get together to carve pumpkins (yep, that happens tonight!) It's hard to believe in this coming year we'll be bringing home our son. I'm feeling really grown up all of a sudden. I feel like a real MAMA...not just to my own kid, but suddenly I feel responsible to more than just me.

So, back to the anniversary. What to get my handsome groom to commemorate year 3? The customary gift for year 3 is leather. Bad news and kind of inappropriate for a couple stepping into veganism. My plan was to bake him some vegan pumpkin muffins, lame, I know. And then I went to yoga. *Note to self: good things happen when you just go to class.

I walked into the studio, still not content on the muffins and wondering what I could get my husband at Whole Foods. I had a 15 minute window after class before I needed to be home to feed Kysa, but like he really wants a candle or bath salts?! ugh, what to do? So after I signed in, Andrea, one of the amazing directors of the studio asked me four magic words: You want a turkey?

YES!!! please.

So I went over to a stack of pictures she had of turkeys who needed to be adopted at Farm Sanctuary. I looked at pictures of turkeys named Jordan, Reese, and Harley all very regal and white and quite beautiful....and then I saw Velma. She was kind of scraggly, and brown. Not the most regal turkey in the bunch, but she was certainly cute in a tough girl kind of way. Her description said she had been neglected and abandoned on the side of the road. That was it. Velma became Fredrik's newly adopted TURKEY! So much better than a new wallet, or belt, or leathery token of my affection.

I don't think I've ever had so much joy buying a gift. Really. Velma will live out her sweet turkey days at Farm Sanctuary in peace without torture, neglect, horrific living conditions and certainly no slaughter. She will have a place of honor at our Thanksgiving dinner this year...just think a LIVE turkey this year. Thanksliving.

And just when I thought I had outdone myself with my gift to my groom, he surprised me with purchasing the vegetable seed needs for 50 Victory Garden participants in Ethiopia, which is a program for 200 students from the village of Atebes in Ethiopia. Students will be trained annually in growing victory gardens to harvest fruits and vegetables for food and income. The students are taught surface water harvesting which will help reduce the impact of drought, and the victory gardens will provide food to students and families. Oh YAY!!!

Last year I probably would have jumped on the leather train and hinted about a new bag or jacket. Something in me shifted after Kysa was born, and continued to shift now that we're embarking on this adoption journey. My vision has changed, it's not just about me anymore. I'm beginning to see more clearly that we're all in this together...Turkeys, Ethiopian students growing victory gardens, husbands, wives, parents and children, you and me. We're all the same. Really.

LOKAH SAMASTA SUKHINO BHAVANTU
May all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

Happy Anniversary, Fredrik!!! I love you.

This is an actual picture of Velma in all her Turkey glory. May she live a long and happy life. You can read more about her and her inspiring rescue story with the link below. You can even adopt a Turkey too! Believe me, saving a turkey feels much better than eating one!!

http://www.farmsanctuary.org/rescue/rescues/2010/daphne_velma.html

Our latest homework

A little insight into our process...below is a question (and our response) we were asked on one of our MANY applications. I thought this might answer questions some of you might have as to WHY we're embarking on this adventure and give you a small peek into the process. It's also a bit funny to see how two verbose people crammed 5 loaded questions into 2 paragraphs.

Why do you wish to adopt a child from Ethiopia?

(1-2 paragraphs)

· You can mention the steps that brought you to adoption

· You can mention what made you decide to adopt a child from Ethiopia

· What are your strengths as a couple/parents

· How you will keep the Ethiopian culture with you child

· Something about providing education for the child

Our path to adoption ironically began with some sad news. Before our daughter Kysa was born, we had a miscarriage and were naturally devastated. We know this is completely normal, but it also opened our eyes to the fact that we didn’t care if we had biological or adopted children, we just wanted to be parents. We went to an international adoption workshop to learn more. Since we are already an international family, we felt that an international adoption just makes sense for our family. Fredrik was born in Sweden and Allison in the United States. Together we have a strong global outlook having both traveled all over the world, and with friends and family who live all over the world. We were very moved by the large number of orphans in Ethiopia, but we were also inspired by the great care and love these orphans receive in the orphanages. Even though we have been very blessed with a biological daughter, we are still recognizing our calling to adopt from Ethiopia.

Our strengths as parents to an adopted child come from our love of children, our interest in blending the beauty of our own cultures (Swedish, American, and now Ethiopian), and our desire to teach openness, exploration and tolerance in all things. We look forward to incorporating Ethiopian cuisine, holidays, music, and customs into our family traditions. As a family, we value higher education, as well as the non-academic educational experiences we have both benefited from during our lives including sports, the arts, and travel. Before becoming a mother, Allison taught literacy and dance to children in the New York City schools and has also worked with students throughout the USA, Mexico and Turkey. Before becoming a father, Fredrik received his MBA in International Business and has worked and studied in countries all around the world. He now works for a global technology company, IBM. As parents, we will make sure our children receive the best academic education possible, but we will also give them many opportunities to observe and explore the experiences around us every day whether that be cooking, reading or gardening at home, socializing in our diverse neighborhood, or traveling to far beyond. We look forward to being very involved in our children's education by volunteering in their schools. Currently we plan for our children to attend Mitchell Montessori starting at age 3. The school is walking distance from our home. We live in a very racially diverse neighborhood, and we acknowledge the importance of providing our son a very diverse environment where he can grow and thrive, honor his heritage, and feel acceptance from those around him. We are so blessed and excited to one day soon bring our son home.