...another referral today means we are now #17 officially and #11 unofficially!
Please continue to keep our baby boy and his birth mom in your thoughts and prayers. We thank you all for your enthusiasm and support.
Aum Shanti,
Allison
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
When 18 means 12....
There's been a string of referrals lately, and we've moved from our place at #23 on May 3 to #18 today! We also learned there are 6 families ahead of us who are "on hold," meaning they are not accepting referrals now. This means they may have gotten pregnant or want to wait a bit before accepting a referral.
Soooooo, unofficially this means we're #12!!!! It's beginning to feel kinda real and I'm feeling all tingly as I write this. Whoa. Whoa...
Here's the email exchange between me, our adoption coordinator, and Fredrik
AW: Hey Cat! I just saw you had a referral for another baby boy! I just wanted to confirm our status. Are we #19 now, and are there still 6 families on hold?
Cat: Hi Allison! Surprise, you are number 18!! There has been a bunch of movement lately, so I double checked. :-) Yes, there are still 6 families on hold before you.
A: Whoop Whoop!! Great news!! Thanks so much ;-)
F: holy smokes, holy smokes, holy smokes, holy smokes, holy smo.....
A: yowza!!!
As an aside, two nights ago I supported the birth of little Emma. Her mom was one of my prenatal yoga students. For the last few weeks I've seen Emma kick and dance around while her mom reclined in goddess pose during the relaxation part of class. Each time I saw her move I would think of my son perhaps dancing in someone else's belly on the other side of the world. I was blessed to witness Emma's arrival on Monday night. She was born beautifully and majestically in water after several hours of labor with soothing music, low lights, candles and 5 loving beings to greet her and help her transition with ease into this world. Her mom, Megan, was a brave and powerful goddess who was surrounded by loving beings all day. She was encouraged, massaged, and loved as she labored. While I was very present for the event, I couldn't help think of my son and his birth mother and wonder about his appearance day. I pray our son's mother is supported by loving, caring hands and I hope he transitions easily into this world and somehow knows how much he is wanted. Being able to support Megan and Emma made me feel connected to my son and his birth mother. I'm so grateful....
Friday, May 27, 2011
Biometrics and Wait List Movement
Today we did one of our very last things needed for the adoption, aside from waiting patiently and two trips across the world. Today we did more fingerprinting, or the more sophisticated term: biometrics. Sounds much more sci-fi cool than it really was.
What I learned about myself today is that I have the hands of a manual laborer. This is the second time we've had to go through biometrics, and both times the person asked if I work with my hands, and had to do my prints over and over until the machine accepted them. Fredrik's prints were accepted first attempt. Mine took a while. They got frustrated. With me.
Could it have been the several years of childhood I spent ripping the skin off my hands doing uneven parallel bars as a gymnast, or holding leather reins through years of horseback riding, or mucking countless stalls? For the last 15 years I've been a dancer, and a yogini...good thing they didn't need prints of my feet!
Aside from a small hit to my vanity, it is done.
AND....we learned today we've moved up the list to #21. Whoa.
Happy Memorial Day Everybody!!
What I learned about myself today is that I have the hands of a manual laborer. This is the second time we've had to go through biometrics, and both times the person asked if I work with my hands, and had to do my prints over and over until the machine accepted them. Fredrik's prints were accepted first attempt. Mine took a while. They got frustrated. With me.
Could it have been the several years of childhood I spent ripping the skin off my hands doing uneven parallel bars as a gymnast, or holding leather reins through years of horseback riding, or mucking countless stalls? For the last 15 years I've been a dancer, and a yogini...good thing they didn't need prints of my feet!
Aside from a small hit to my vanity, it is done.
AND....we learned today we've moved up the list to #21. Whoa.
Happy Memorial Day Everybody!!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mothers Day/Dear Sister (2)
Dear Sister,
There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of you. I continue to meet you daily on my yoga mat, and you whisper inspiration in my ear as I send wishes for peace, wellness, and hope to you. The word Enat (mother) constantly rides my breath. As strange as it sounds, I feel a deep connection to you.
My husband and I started this process eight months ago, and had no idea how long it would take just to get our paperwork complete...but we hit a milestone this week. We're officially waiting to be matched for adoption with our son, your son. I really thought I would celebrate the moment we were given a number, and in reality we did celebrate and share our news with friends, but all I can really think of now is you. I still think about where you might be in your pregnancy, if our son is born, if he is safe, if you are safe, if you are able to provide food and shelter for yourself and for our son. I wonder if you are able to take care of yourself if you are sick, or find strength if you are abused. Sometimes I wonder if I am already connecting with your spirit if you have left your body...
I sit here after spending Mother's Day today with my family and celebrating my daughter's 1st birthday earlier this week. My heart is brimming over with love and gratitude. My daughter has tapped into a space in my heart I never knew existed...a place only children can touch. I constantly think of you and the events that will take place, or have already taken place that will bring you to the event or decision to give up your son. I know that you aren't taking your decision lightly, no mother could. I know mothers would give up their lives for their children, and perhaps you already have...
I want so badly to get the call we've been matched with our son. I want to see his face, I want to meet him, hold him, and bring him into our home and wrap him with love and shower him with sweet kisses...but I am aware as we sit at #23 on the list, 23 babies (including our son) must loose their birth moms, and families, and culture, and you must endure emotional and perhaps physical pain that I cannot begin to fathom. This knowledge brings sobriety to the waiting excitement and anxiety.
I want you to know I don't take any of this lightly. I want you to know my family thinks of you, we talk about you, we worry about you. It isn't impossible that by this time next year we could have our son (yours and mine) in our home in Charleston. I know that our home will always be second best to you, his birth mother, and I will do my best to honor you everyday as I raise our son. Your presence is most welcome in our hearts and home. Though half a world away, you are already a part of our lives and we welcome you.
The light in me bows to the light in you.
Namaste.
Allison
There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of you. I continue to meet you daily on my yoga mat, and you whisper inspiration in my ear as I send wishes for peace, wellness, and hope to you. The word Enat (mother) constantly rides my breath. As strange as it sounds, I feel a deep connection to you.
My husband and I started this process eight months ago, and had no idea how long it would take just to get our paperwork complete...but we hit a milestone this week. We're officially waiting to be matched for adoption with our son, your son. I really thought I would celebrate the moment we were given a number, and in reality we did celebrate and share our news with friends, but all I can really think of now is you. I still think about where you might be in your pregnancy, if our son is born, if he is safe, if you are safe, if you are able to provide food and shelter for yourself and for our son. I wonder if you are able to take care of yourself if you are sick, or find strength if you are abused. Sometimes I wonder if I am already connecting with your spirit if you have left your body...
I sit here after spending Mother's Day today with my family and celebrating my daughter's 1st birthday earlier this week. My heart is brimming over with love and gratitude. My daughter has tapped into a space in my heart I never knew existed...a place only children can touch. I constantly think of you and the events that will take place, or have already taken place that will bring you to the event or decision to give up your son. I know that you aren't taking your decision lightly, no mother could. I know mothers would give up their lives for their children, and perhaps you already have...
I want so badly to get the call we've been matched with our son. I want to see his face, I want to meet him, hold him, and bring him into our home and wrap him with love and shower him with sweet kisses...but I am aware as we sit at #23 on the list, 23 babies (including our son) must loose their birth moms, and families, and culture, and you must endure emotional and perhaps physical pain that I cannot begin to fathom. This knowledge brings sobriety to the waiting excitement and anxiety.
I want you to know I don't take any of this lightly. I want you to know my family thinks of you, we talk about you, we worry about you. It isn't impossible that by this time next year we could have our son (yours and mine) in our home in Charleston. I know that our home will always be second best to you, his birth mother, and I will do my best to honor you everyday as I raise our son. Your presence is most welcome in our hearts and home. Though half a world away, you are already a part of our lives and we welcome you.
The light in me bows to the light in you.
Namaste.
Allison
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
#23
Less than 24 hours ago, I believed. And, today we got the news... we are OFFICIALLY #23 on the infant boy waiting list. Amazing that after 8 months of starts, stops, zigs and zags we are finally waiting. In adoption lingo... we are now "adoption pregnant".
Thank you for all the support we have gotten from so many of you up to this point. We will need it now more than ever. It might sound like this has been the hard part, but honestly I think the hard parts are just starting. At least up until now we had lots to do that kept us focused. Now all we have is waiting, waiting and more waiting.
So, here's what comes next. Sometime in the next 9 to 12 (or, as long as 18? 24?) months we will get a referral for an infant boy less than 24 months old. Shortly afterwards we will receive a court date in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and need to make travel arrangements for at least a 7-10 day journey. At this first court appearance we will show up to confirm our desire to adopt our son, and on the same day his birth family members will validate their need to give up rights to this child. Wow, that'll be emotional. Depending on the circumstances, we hope to have a chance to meet with and talk to members of the birth family. It could be our only chance to get information to give our son about his history. We will then have to return to the USA without our son... and then wait some more. A couple of months later we will return to Addis Ababa for another 7-10 days for a US Embassy date and pick up our son officially.
Let the unofficial betting begin. You thought picking a date of birth for a biological child was hard, try picking the date we bring our son home from Ethiopia!
/ fredrik
Thank you for all the support we have gotten from so many of you up to this point. We will need it now more than ever. It might sound like this has been the hard part, but honestly I think the hard parts are just starting. At least up until now we had lots to do that kept us focused. Now all we have is waiting, waiting and more waiting.
So, here's what comes next. Sometime in the next 9 to 12 (or, as long as 18? 24?) months we will get a referral for an infant boy less than 24 months old. Shortly afterwards we will receive a court date in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and need to make travel arrangements for at least a 7-10 day journey. At this first court appearance we will show up to confirm our desire to adopt our son, and on the same day his birth family members will validate their need to give up rights to this child. Wow, that'll be emotional. Depending on the circumstances, we hope to have a chance to meet with and talk to members of the birth family. It could be our only chance to get information to give our son about his history. We will then have to return to the USA without our son... and then wait some more. A couple of months later we will return to Addis Ababa for another 7-10 days for a US Embassy date and pick up our son officially.
Let the unofficial betting begin. You thought picking a date of birth for a biological child was hard, try picking the date we bring our son home from Ethiopia!
/ fredrik
Monday, May 2, 2011
Is it possible? Part two.
It's amazing how something as constant as time seems to play games with you. You know those days that seem to take forever but the week flies by? Or, the party planning and prep that seems to never end but the party itself is over before you know it? That's how I feel after looking back and realizing that on April 5th we posted that we were only moments away from having our paperwork completed and being placed on the official wait list. April 5th doesn't seem that long ago, but somehow a month has passed and yet I still feel the same... any day now we should (really) be on the official wait list for our little boy. This week, I believe this week. I believe.
This isn't to say we've been sitting around waiting. While the adoption and the process is never far from our minds, April and into early May have been beautiful in our home. My lovely wife's birthday, a good friend's book debut and book signing party, Easter brunch at our neighbor's house with friends, an evening listening to jazz at our neighborhood park and to top it all off... today's 1st birthday of our amazing little girl, Kysa! We are really blessed to have such rich experiences to get us through this adoption process. Still, I cannot help think about all these same things happening next year.. maybe then we will have our son with us too? How cool...
Vamos! Come on! Kom igen! We are ready to wait!
/ fredrik
This isn't to say we've been sitting around waiting. While the adoption and the process is never far from our minds, April and into early May have been beautiful in our home. My lovely wife's birthday, a good friend's book debut and book signing party, Easter brunch at our neighbor's house with friends, an evening listening to jazz at our neighborhood park and to top it all off... today's 1st birthday of our amazing little girl, Kysa! We are really blessed to have such rich experiences to get us through this adoption process. Still, I cannot help think about all these same things happening next year.. maybe then we will have our son with us too? How cool...
Vamos! Come on! Kom igen! We are ready to wait!
/ fredrik
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Is it possible?
I think we're close to a milestone people!
Is it possible we've taken our last stack of documents to the bank to be notarized?
Is it possible we've made our last stack of photocopies and then rushed to FedEx before 5:00 for the last time?
Is it possible we're finished with the mind-numbing, hurry-up-and-wait paperwork and ready to be placed on a wait list?
Is it possible we've hasseled our kind and generous references for just ONE MORE reference letter (thank you, thank you, thank you adoption angels)
We're not wanting to get too overconfident...but it could be possible.
Our dossier is almost complete, it's being compiled, checked and double checked and when our fantastic dossier expert, Kate sends it to our agency we will be FINISHED and placed on the WAIT LIST!!
Yee Haw!! Here's to our tortoise style paperwork race...we're almost there!!!!
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